Q: Why does my toddler fight sleep every night, staying up until after 10 pm?

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Question: My nearly 3-year-old toddler fights sleep every single night. It seems like if it's not past 10 pm, she will not go to sleep. Our routine is consistent: we start with a bath around 8:30 pm, followed by pajamas, books, and brushing teeth until about 9-9:30 pm. Even after all that, it takes her another 30-45 minutes to settle down. We do everything we can to get her ready for bed. She has said she gets sad when her dad goes to work, but she says this even on weekends when he's home. We are exhausted and need help!

Answer: That sounds draining.

You're right to notice the detail about her saying she's sad about daddy going to work even on weekends. That's the key right there. It's probably not really about the logic of him working. At this age, they are masters at finding the one thing that will pull on your heartstrings and delay bedtime. She's found a line that works to keep you engaged. It's her way of saying "I don't want the day to end" or "I'm feeling big feelings and this is the only way I know how to express it."

Since she's almost 3, the biggest thing to look at is her nap. A lot of kids are getting ready to drop their nap around this age. If she's still taking a long nap or napping late in the afternoon (like after 3 PM), she honestly just isn't tired at 8:30 PM. You could try capping the nap at one hour or waking her up earlier from it to see if that helps build more sleep pressure for bedtime.

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