Q: I'm struggling to bond with my toddler and feel like a bad mom. What can I do?

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Question: I’m having a hard time bonding with my son, and it makes me feel like I’ve failed as a mother. Since he was born, he has always seemed more attached to his dad. We also live with my mother-in-law, who spoils him, and he often asks for her or his dad over me. I’m not sure if it’s postpartum depression or postpartum rage, but I find myself with very little patience. I lose my cool and have yelled at him, though I have never physically hurt him. It’s hard to be a loving and affectionate mom when I feel this way, especially now that he’s in a phase with more tantrums and doesn't always listen. Should I consider therapy?

Answer: It sounds really tough, and you're carrying a heavy load right now. What you're describing, the rage and difficulty bonding, could definitely be signs of PPD or postpartum rage. You're not a shitty mom for feeling this way; your brain and body have been through a massive upheaval.

It's completely normal for toddlers to have preferences, and it's not a reflection of your love or their love for you. He knows you're his mom. His world is small, and his dad and grandma are also a big part of it.

Therapy is a great idea. It can give you a space to unpack these feelings without judgment and learn coping strategies.

For now, maybe try one small thing. Could you and your son have a special 5-10 minute activity that is just for the two of you? No one else is allowed to join. It could be reading a specific book, listening to a song, or just some silly time. It doesn't have to be perfect. The goal is just a few minutes of positive connection.

For extra peace of mind and clear guidance when tracking your child's symptoms, the FeverCoach app is always there to help.

https://fevercoach.us